Welcome back to “That Very Special Relationship,” my series of blog
posts exploring the relationship between a grandmother and her grandchild. Another one of my readers recently wrote in:
Terrific blog! My granddaughter Jessenia is coming to stay with me next weekend. Her mother insists on an 8:30pm bedtime and only organic food. At Grandma's house, do I have to enforce the same rules?
Hi, Lorena! Great question. Parents are parents. And grandmothers are grandmothers! If, for instance, my daughter Jane had a daughter—let's just call her Rosie—then when Rosie came over to my house, Rosie would have to follow Grandma's rules, not her mother's rules. I'd be allowed to give Rosie candy. I'd be allowed to let Ro
sie watch an extra hour of television. And I'd be allowed to
play board games with Rosie until the wee hours. That's just what grandmas were made for!
I remember the first time that Jane had a sleepover at her Grandma's house. Jane was so excited. My mother took Jane on the Orange Line from the North End to Chinatown and let Jane order whatever she wanted! And when they got home, Jane and her grandmother drank hot chocolate and played chess until late. Well, I heard about that sleepover for weeks! In comparison to Grandma, I felt like the evil stepmother from a fairy tale! My own mother had showed me up! And Jane kept talking about how Grandma's house was the best! But that's when I realized: It's all part of the job description … Grandmas don't have to follow the rules!